HOW TO CALL THE POLICE  
WHEN YOU'RE OLD  
AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE.  
 
 
   
Dave, an elderly man from Liverpool, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. Dave opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.  
 
   
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"  
 
   
He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.    
 
   
Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."  
 
   
Dave said, "Okay."  
 
   
He hung up the phone and counted to 30.  
 
   
Then he phoned the police again.  
 
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.  
 
Within five minutes, Six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at Dave`s residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.  
 
   
One of the Policemen said to Dave, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"  
 
   
Dave said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"  
 
   
 
Don't mess with old people